Bit of a follow up to my last blog...
thankyou to those who commented the last one, its nice to know people can actually relate to me and it means a lot, i didnt really know where this blog would go to be honest, and if anyone would actually read it, but its nice to know im not the only one who's felt like that. i know one of the comments said you wanted to know more about exactly what my last blog was about, but i dont think il be able to explain it fully, due to the fact im easily recognisable from here and i dont need everyone in my life reading it and knowing everything, i just want to be able to relate to other people's situations in life.
okay so basically, i still have a lot on my mind right now, school will be finishing in a week or so, id love to go and find a job to get a bit of extra money over the holidays but theres always that one situation at the back of my mind like a plague right now.
as much as ive tried to confront people about it, i still feel like im being played a fool, stabbed in the back, and i dont always believe that the people who i ask the questions to, are being genuinely honest to me. I feel like sometimes they play mind games with me, and my friends who ive spoken to feel the same too, its hard to trust people these days.
Like i said last time, as ive been going through life as a teenager, ive learnt to build up walls around myself to keep my emotions protected, but this also means i find it hard to open up to people and show my honest emotions sometimes. Its hard for me to find a balence. I guess i have some more thinking to do. About who is actually a good influence for me, and again, who to trust.
These last few days have been quite surreal to be honest, i may have still been the bubbly happy me but in my mind ive been observing and studying people and what they're actually trying to achieve by making me feel a fool, and i cant place my finger on it, but all i know is that they, intentionally, are trying to get me annoyed, jealous and agrevated, because of thier hunger for power. They show love for me, and then treat me like nothing, worthless.
I need to decide what is best for me. And mainly, who.
