Ok this is the first blog ive ever written here, to be honest i dont care what you think of it, its a way of expressing myself and getting my ideas across to other people, its about real life, my realisations, the things that shape me and mould me into hopefully the good person i want to be...
I had a really meaningfull conversation last night, quite possibly the most meaning full conversation ive ever had, and it was with my grandma. It made me learn about how much ive disrespected and disregarded my family, and how foolish ive been. I found out so much yesterday about so many things about my family that i never knew about, so many secrets ive waited 15 years to find out. I was so emotional i felt like i'd end up bursting into tears, which was a surreal feeling ive never felt before infront of my two grandma's, it felt like i was finally old enough to be a real part of thier life and be on thier level.
Ok, people say friends are the family you've picked yourself...
But family are the only ones who have unconditional love for you. And i learnt that yesterday. Theyre the only people who you can try to believe and trust, the only people who've given you unconditional love, no matter what you've done, no matter whats happened in your life, and they'l love you for the rest of thier lives. I took my family for granted, and never really apprieciated what theyve given me, but Ive learnt to finally appreciate my family, especially the women in my family, as i never knew what kind of a life they had actually had. It was such a strange feeling, but most deffinitely the closest ive ever felt to them. I wouldnt know what to say to express my gratitude towards them, so i thought id write it here. I treasured that hour or two so much, i dont think il ever forget it. I may only still be young but they've shown me so much about the world, that it isnt all a bed of roses but life is about compromise and making the most of what you have here and now, life is about being optimistic, because if you fail to be that then everything will come crumbling down. I know i havent shown them as much love as i should, and i now know i need to change that. Im trying to get in contact with cousins i havent spoken to in years and months, and cousins i never even knew i had untill yesterday, because at the end of the day, blood runs thicker than water. Family are there through anything, and im glad ive realised that.
